Sex Ed
by odd34
Summary: Kadic policy states that, once a year, gym class will be cancelled for a lecture called "Sex Ed" given by no other than Jim. And If that isn't bad enough, add in Odd, and a disaster is in the making.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Lyoko, but I wish I did.

"Odd, wake up!"

The blonde slowly opened his eyes to see his roommate standing over him, smiling widely. The sunlight that entered from their small dorm window shone on his beautiful face.

"Ugh, already? Can't we just skip first class?" The blonde sat up, keeping the covers over his bare legs. His hair was an absolute mess, sticking out in many different directions. His green eyes, normally bright, were much more dull.

"Would you want to? Remember what Jim is teaching today?"

The blonde sprung to his feet, almost knocking the brunette to the floor.

"How could I forget? My favorite class of the year!" He then started rummaging through his dresser, clothes flying behind him and scattering all across the floor.

"Hey, watch it Odd! You almost knocked me over!" The brunette stated, arms crossed while he watched Odd search for whatever he was looking for.

"Found it Ulrich!" Odd stood up, bearing a wide smile as he showed off the small device he had been searching for.

"Really? A digital sound recorder?" Ulrich shook his head. Sometimes Odd proved to be just what his name was.

"Yep. I've recorded them each and every year" Odd stated, smiling.

Ulrich grinned. "Well, they're always entertaining."

By now Odd had grabbed a set of his clothes off the ground, and swung them over his shoulder. He then grabbed a towel, and stared impatiently.

"Hurry up, we don't want to be late!"

Ulrich snickered. "Geez, talk about a change of heart!"

Odd came over to the gang's usual breakfast table, carrying a food tray loaded with pancakes, blueberry muffins, scrambled eggs, and what appeared to be burnt sausages.

"They really let you have all that?" Ulrich asked as Odd sat down.

"It's a sympathy breakfast. They know the torture Jim's lecture brings."

Ulrich laughed as Odd started shoveling the pancakes in his mouth. Most of the other students were already here, but a few stragglers were still showing up.

"I can't figure out how he stays so scrawny, Ulrich."

Ulrich turned in his seat to see who spoke.

"Oh, hi Aelita. Neither can I, I've given up guessing." Ulrich beamed at Aelita. She was wearing the usual, her food tray not holding nearly as much food as Odd's did.

Odd shot a glare at them. His mouth was full, but he was clearly stating the usual 'I'm not scrawny, I'm svelte!'

"So where's Yumi?" Aelita asked, trying not to laugh at Odd, who was now almost finished with the pancakes.

"I have no idea. Maybe she lucked out and got sick."

"Ackh, ACKH!" Odd apparently had chocked on a muffin, and quickly took a swig of his orange juice.

"What do you mean lucked out? She would miss all the fun!" Odd exclaimed a little too loudly, causing several other groups of students to glance at him. "Just saying..." He then returned to his muffin.

"What would she miss out on? The assembly at gym?"

Odd giggled, his mouth still full of food. Ulrich turned slightly pink.

"It's not an assembly Aelita. Once a year Jim is required to teach us about, uh...well-"

"GETTING LAID!"

Odd broke out in laughter, causing all present students to turn and stare at him. Ulrich and Aelita turned bright red, both silent. In fact, the whole cafeteria was silent, except for Odd's laughing and a pair of approaching footsteps.

"Della-Robbia!"

Odd stopped laughing and turned pale, looking up.

"Er, yes Jim?"

Everyone was silent now, wondering what was coming Odd's way.

Jim smiled. "For that, you can be part of the little q&a during my Sex Ed class today."

Jim then grinned at Odd, turned, and walked away.

The students, Aelita, and Ulrich watched in silence as Jim left, saw the door shut, and turned back to stare at Odd, who was so red roses would be jealous.

"Sorry for this," Ulrich started. "But boy are you screwed."


	2. Chapter 2

Hi all. I am trying to keep the chapters coming, just kind of unsure how descriptive to get in the next chapter. If you could post your opinion, that would sure help.

Thanks!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Code Lyoko, but sure wish I did.

xxxxxx

"Why me? I only stated the truth!"

Odd was still flustered as he made his way towards the auditorium. The atmosphere of the hallway seemed very tense, full of anticipation.

"Do I really have to be a part of this?"

"Apparently you do" Ulrich snickered. "Just hope nobody asks for a role play."

Odd turned bright red at this comment. "Don't give me visions" he said. "Or else I might have to bring up Yumi."

Now it was Ulrich's turn to blush deeply. "Don't you dare, Odd" he stated coldly.

Odd chuckled. "Hey, where is Jeremie? He wasn't at breakfast. Isn't he supposed to show?"

"I heard he got a pass from Mr. Delmas. Not like he needs the lecture anyway."

Odd smiled. "True, humans can't have sex with computers!" They both laughed, knowing it _was_ true.

"Not to worry," Odd beamed. "Soon, it will all be right here" he said, pointing at his recorder.

"Yeah genius, did you remember to check the batteries?" Ulrich said, rolling his eyes as Odd turned pale.

"I FORGOT THE BATTERIES!" Odd yelled loudly, causing students to turn and look at him.

"I'll be back!" Odd yelled, sprinting to their room.

"Hurry up, you only have ten minutes!"

Ulrich laughed as he watched Odd run, nearly knocking several other students over. Turning around, he saw a certain pink-haired girl next to him looking at him with a confused expression on her face.

"What did Odd forget?"

"Aelita, you don't want to know." Ulrich looked dead serious, and Aelita grinned at him.

"Ah, Odd being Odd."

Ulrich nodded. "So where's Yumi? I would have thought she'd be here by now..."

"Yumi texted me earlier. She said that she would be late because Hiroki is sick, and her parents needed her to stay with him until they returned."

"Oh" replied Ulrich.

The two continued down the hallway in silence, until they finally reached the auditorium. Ulrich walked up to a sign and read it aloud.

"Boys, meet Jim in auditorium. Girls, meet Ms. Hertz in lecture hall." Ulrich turned to Aelita. "Well, guess I'll see you later then."

"Okay, bye Ulrich."

"Hey Aelita, have fun learning about child birth!"

Aelita blushed madly. "I think Odd's sense of humor is rubbing off on you!"

She then turned and walked away, and Ulrich headed into the auditorium. "Odd's sense of humor is rubbing off on me? Crap!"

xxxxxx

The auditorium was buzzing with anticipation. Most, obviously, wanted to just get the lecture slash embarrassment over with. However, they also knew that Jim usually made an idiot of himself talking about sex.

"Quiet down" Jim loudly announced. The students did so, and watched as Jim proceeded to bring in a projector with a laptop.

"Now, I know that-"

"WAIT!"

All present turned to see Odd slam through the doors, trip over the laptop charger cord, and slide head first across the stage, stopping at Jim's feet.

"SAFE!" Someone yelled out from the crowd, and the students erupted in laughter.

Odd looked up at Jim, face red from embarrassment. Jim didn't look amused.

"Well now Odd, late _and_ having a clumsy moment?"

Ulrich, along with several others, laughed as Odd stood up.

"Eh, sorry Jim. Didn't sleep well. Had to work late on all this homework. Do you know how much homework we get from you stu-"

"That's enough, Odd. Go take a seat...for now." Jim gave Odd a smirk, and the blonde made his way to the back to sit next to Ulrich.

"Nice entry Odd, was it planned?" Ulrich smirked.

"_No_ it was _not_" Odd replied, sticking his tongue out at Ulrich. "But I made it back in time" he whispered, discretely pulling the recorder out, turning it on, and started recording. He then placed it on his chair next to him.

"Alright" Jim spoke. "Now that everyone is here, lets begin. First off, I know that some of you dread this class. Well, it's harder for you than it is for me. Uh, I mean-"

The auditorium filled with its first wave of laughter. Jim stood there, hand behind his head, looking completely embarrassed.

"Oh Ulrich," said Odd, trying to quiet his laughing. "This may be the best one yet."

xxxxxx

Reviews really do help! So please give me some feedback!


	3. Chapter 3

Hi all,

I'm still not sure if I will add any pairings to the story. If there is one you really want to see, let me know!

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Lyoko, but if I did, it wouldn't end at Season 4. (Excludes Evolution, I didn't like the idea of what they did)

xxxxxx

After a minute, most of the laughter had gone away. Jim then re-composed himself, powering up the projector. A PowerPoint presentation popped up. The slide read:

**SEX: what you need to know.**

Whispers filled the auditorium, most saying "where is this going?"

Jim then tapped the right arrow key.

"Are my eyes deceiving me" Odd whispered in Ulrich's ear. "Or is that an actual _picture_ of a penis?"

Ulrich didn't reply. He was too embarrassed to speak. An actual _picture_?

"So all of you know what this is" Jim stated. "And, at your age, you probably know how it functions."

The whole room was dead silent after this statement.

"Jim, its hard to see that," Hervé stated. "Could you make it bigger please?"

The silence abruptly ended, absolutely everyone cracking up. Hervé sank into his seat, his face scarlet. "That's not what I meant" he muttered.

"What are you, a bunch of little girls?" Jim started, quieting down the auditorium. "Should I merge you with Ms. Hertz' class? Maybe you'd feel more comfortable there!"

Silence swept over the room again. Then some boy yelled out,

"Not really, we grew a pair!"

Everyone resumed uncontrollable laughter. Odd had tears streaming down his face from laughing so hard. Ulrich was gasping for air, only to start laughing again.

"Alright, alright, that's enough" Jim stated. "If you keep this up, we won't finish today and we will have to continue tomorrow!"

Jim then tapped the right arrow key again.

"Now this is a picture of an erection." Jim smirked. "I will now have Mr. Della Robbia explain how and why this occurs."

Everyone turned to Odd, who had sank deep into his seat. His face looked tomato red. For a good 15 seconds he remained like this.

Suddenly he jumped up, his expression changing to a carefree smile.

"Well Jim," he started. "First, you have to meet a really pretty girl," he then looked straight at Ulrich. "Like Yumi."

Ulrich quickly buried his face in his hands. "I'm gonna kill you later" he muttered.

Several people giggled, but most remained calm.

"Then, when you get to your room, you sit on your bed, think about her, strip, take your right hand and-"

"That's enough Odd!" Jim yelled as the students roared in laughter.

Odd sat down, still trying to catch his breath after his joke.

"_Moving on_" Jim emphasized. Once again he hit the right arrow key.

"These are all birth control devices. You have the pill, spermicides, condoms, et cetera. But just know, if you don't have condoms, Saran Wrap will not work."

Another wave of laughter struck the crowd, leaving Jim looking a bit upset.

"I'm serious! I know a guy who tried it!" He then paused. "But I'd rather not talk about it."

Jim waited a minute for the students to quiet down.

"Now I will pass these around the room." He went to the very back and purposefully handed Odd the 'items'. Upon seeing what they were, Odd immediately tossed them up in the air, away from him.

"I gave Odd several different kinds of condoms. Take a look and see what they look and feel like. Odd, pick those up and pass them around."

"Hell no!" Odd replied. "Where'd you get them anyway?"

"I borrowed them from Mr. Delmas. He wants them back though."

Odd jumped out of his seat and onto Ulrich's lap while everyone laughed. Jim sighed, picked up the condoms, and retreated to the stage.

Meanwhile, Odd had turned deep red and jumped back into his seat just as fast.

"Ulrich..."

Ulrich's face was even deeper red.

"Umm..."

"Really? You get hard that easy?"

Ulrich did not respond, the damage was done.

Meanwhile, yet again, Jim tapped the arrow key on the laptop.

"Eww" and "gross" filled the air with the new pictures.

"These," Jim said, "Are examples of the more common STD's. Stay as far away from these as possible. After all, this one," Jim pointed at a really nasty picture, "is torturous. It makes urinating burn like passing hot soup."

Some of the students shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

Ulrich, still bright red, whispered into Odd's ear.

"Hey Odd, do you have HIV?" Ulrich snickered, trying to change the mental tone between them.

"No way, Jose!" Odd whispered.

"Are you positive?"

"Yes! I mean...oh, shut up!"

Odd looked away, crossing his arms and pouting.

"Next on the slide show we have-" Jim announced. His eyes widened as the slide read:

**I love fucking around with my roommate :-p**

All present laughed, except for Odd and Ulrich, who looked away from each other, both still bright red.

"Who vandalized my presentation?" Jim yelled. Nobody said anything. "Well, I guess that means I can't use these slides now!" Jim shut off the projector and slammed the laptop closed.

Then, just as if it was planned, the dismissal bell rang.

"Well, that means I will see you tomorrow, same time, same place for Q and A. And maybe you will have some _mature_ questions to ask." Jim then crossed his arms as all stood up.

Odd immediately ran out, leaving Ulrich behind, who just continued to sit, staring out into space.

xxxxxx

Review please! Just a note, slash is an option if reviewers want it.


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